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weddings

wedding ritual combo platter

origins, sources, customs, weirdnesses

Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg

• 11 min read
wedding ritual combo platter
A wedding in the Old Yishuv of Yafo ("Jaffa") in 1890. The "Old Yishuv" (settlement) refers to the communities of Jews who lived in the region through and generally before the Ottoman period; there have always been Jewish communities in the region. (Black and white photo of many people gathered outside, looking at the camera; the wedding canopy, the chuppah, is prominent. The men wear a mix of Western suits and more traditional Middle Eastern garb, and many of them wear fez hats; the women are in dresses and some have scarves worn lightly on their heads.)

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"One should not believe in superstitions, but still it is best to be heedful of them..."

- Sefer Hasidim (Book of the Pious) 13th c. Germany

On Monday we talked about weddings! So I thought it might be fun to look at some sources about (some of the) (many, many) Jewish wedding customs, and other parts of the ceremony that we didn't address then– the interesting, the strange, the lovely, and more. (Obviously this is rather het-default conversation, yay that the world has expanded beyond these sources, etc.)

If it's helpful, this is a guide to the basic steps of the ceremony, but hopefully I'll do an OK job of explaining whatever needs to be explained:

Elements of a Jewish Wedding Ceremony - 18Doors
From the seven blessings to the breaking of the glass, here’s your guide to a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony.
18Doors18Doors

First!

Consider Your Guest List Carefully

Rav Yehuda said: Three require protection from harm: A sick person, a bridegroom, and a bride. It was taught in a baraita: A sick person, a woman in childbirth, a bridegroom, and a bride require protection from harm. (Talmud Brachot 54b)

Why might these people require protection from harm? Who do they need protection from? Let's check in with our favorite 11th c. French commentator and maybe winemaker, Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki, aka Rashi? As the story goes, he got his explanations from an unbroken line of teachers dating back to the Talmud itself. And what does he think this protection is about? Well, naturally:

From demons! His jealousy taunts them.

Just so that we're clear.

The Chuppah